Communication

com⋅mu⋅ni⋅ca⋅tion Spelled Pronunciation [kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuh n]
–noun
1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated.
2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted.
4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc.
5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage, between places.

 These last few months, I have been the shoulder and ear to a friend of mine that is going through some difficult times in her marriage. So much so, that it is leading to divorce. I am talking, papers filed and everything. It is a bittersweet ending because they are good people. They are just no longer good for each other, and may not have been for some time now. Hard to say. Perhaps this has been brewing for a while now and things just finally came to the surface and eventually got out of control to the point of no return. Without divulging too much, one of the main things is the serious lack of communication. Things get said, feelings get hurt, people get pissed. So what, it happens. But when you can’t and won’t even tell the person what is on your mind for sake of keeping the peace, that spells trouble. It can resonate and you will stew in it until eventually it just boils over. In the midst of all the stewing, something is finally said about how you feel and it will not come out in a civil tone. That is when it gets really ugly and blown out of proportion.

I feel that if you are going to say it, just say it. Don’t wait. There is a way to say things that will not put the other person on the defensive. I lived too long like that where I would never speak up, stand up or voice my opinion. I got tired of it and finally decided to make that change. To be heard. That has had a nice impact on my communication with Hunter (and all of my relationships for that matter). He respects and appreciates my candidness. We can sit down and hash out a problem, issue or even have a (gasp) normal conversation. If there is an issue, it may or may not get resolved right then, but we are communicating. We are not trying to keep peace by pussyfooting around the issue.

Communicating effectively takes practice and a great deal of effort. Without communication, it is almost impossible to resolve conflicts or grow in your relationship. I realize that communication is not the whole picture to a successful marriage, but it sure doesn’t hurt to have it. It seems to make everything else fall into place nicely. With that being said, I had some thoughts on the subject matter. What makes me and Hunter tick and why we are able to talk so easily?

1. No one wins. Arguments are not a win or lose situation. You argue, you resolve, should be end of story.

2. Compromise is essential to problem solving. Before bringing up a problem, make sure you have thought of ways that you can help solve it by mutual compromise. This can be difficult depending on your position with the issue at hand though. Must choose carefully with this one.

3. Try to be positive when bringing up sensitive problems. Don’t just jump right into the conversation. Start off gentle depending on the subject matter. You certainly don’t want to put your husband/wife on the defensive before you have really gotten to your point.

4. Be a good listener and make sure you understand what he/she has said to you. For example, if you were given an assignment at work and didn’t understand all of what was being said, you would ask questions. You would ask for clarification. Same thing in your marriage. If you don’t understand, ask for some clarification.

5. If the conversation gets too heated and you find yourself not listening to each other or you started slinging insults, take a much needed break. This is the part where things could get ugly and it is hard to come back from.

6. Be careful of your body language.

7. Be honest and focus on the real issue. If you waffle on the point you are trying to make, you probably won't make it.

8. Don't ever be rude or talk down to your spouse. Don't dismiss an idea or thought as absurd. Listen to his/her point. All. The. Way. Through. Does not mean you can’t interject your own thoughts, but give them a chance to get their whole point/thought out. It is just like telling your child to not interrupt when people are talking. You should not do it either.

9. Stay on track.

10. If you find yourself still struggling, there is a good chance you may need some outside intervention. And that is okay. Many couples need to be taught how to talk to each. There is nothing wrong with that. You just need to recognize when it is time.

3rd Week Complete and a Couple Other Random Things

We have completed the 3rd week of the challenge and I'll be dammed if we don't owe 8 bucks, again. Someone decided that they would lose 4 pounds which means the rest of us have to ante up twice the amount in money that this person lost. Great for him/her and great for the ever growing pot of money that will go to the overall winner in the end. Congrats to this weeks winner who shall remain nameless still!

Since I am on the topic of working out, let's discuss (or you can just read actually) the P90X Kenpo X workout. I have a few things to say about it. First of all, I absolutely loved it. It was energetic, challenging, fun and it makes me want to take it a step further and take a martial arts class of some sort. I think some research on that topic is in order. I want to find the right class and the right instructor for me. One problem, I have so many other things that I am doing right now, health/workout related, that I need to decide if I want to add something else or replace something with the martial arts. Hmmmm, what to do, what to do? I suppose what I can do is the necessary research to find out what is available. In the meantime, I will continue my running and P90X cardio in addition to the weight lifting that we have been doing. That seems to be suiting me just fine.

There are a couple of things coming up that I am most excited about. The first being sushi making day with Shannon which I posted about a few days ago. This is something I have been wanting to try for a long time and when I posted the 'make your own sushi', Shannon was right there asking when. So, we decided on a day that we would give it a shot. Actually, the plan is to meet up to run in the morning, come back to the house and peruse the sushi making book to decide what we need, get cleaned up (decided that sweat and sushi won't mix), and then head to Central Market for the stuff. I am sure martinis and/or wine will be involved and with any luck, we will have Piranha quality sushi right from the Barbosa kitchen. Details to come.

The other thing I am really looking forward to is our next (drunk) canasta night with the Homuth's. There is really so much that could be said about this night, and so much that should not be said. We have deemed our table the table of truth because we just talk about anything and everything. So this particular night was spent teaching them the rules of canasta, all the while, drinks are flowing and so is the conversation. We had the best time laughing and telling stories. My stomach literally hurt by the end of the night but it was so worth it. Naturally, with this amount of fun, we have another canasta night in the works. Great fun.

Last but not least, the chart.

You are welcome, participants 1 - 7.

Thoughts and Wisdom of a 12 Year Old

My daughter has a Face Book and I really appreciate her random thoughts and wisdom with the use of proper spelling, proper grammer, etc. I rarely see her take short cuts on her posts and quite frankly, I find it refreshing. With that being said, I thought I would share the thoughts and wisdom of my 12 yeard old, courtesy of her Face Book.

- The opposite of 'grrr' is 'urggg'.

- No matter how tough situations can be, you always pull through with more confidence than you started with. =)

 - It's not who you are on the outside....It's who you are on the inside. ♥

- You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes and see the invisible man.

- Aubry is watching football with her mom at the moment. She enjoys watching big dudes tackle eachother.

- If you can't find what you lost, you might as well have found what you already lost in the first place. Who's ready for a half day today? I AM!! =D

- If the moon is made of swiss cheese, what is the Earth made of, Pepper-Jack? Okay, does ANYBODY know where the moon is or what phase it's in right now?

- Aubry now has a Thought of the Day everyday! TotD: Parachute for sale; Used once, never opened, small stain.

- I've got nothing (almost) to do. If Labrett asks for me to clean again, the answer is no.

- School is like a cold winter day. Not the best thing in the world, but not the worst thing either. Ever realized that?

Here's the Plan

By putting it out there for all to read, it makes me feel accountable to follow through. Not that I would not follow through normally (for the most part) but doing it this way makes it more real to me. So here goes. The first part of my plan is to participate in a 5K a month. One month I will run, the next month I will walk it with LaBrett. (side note: she started running several months ago but experienced such severe knee pain that the walking is simply better for her.) So, part of the deal I made with her and myself is that I would walk with her every other month. So that brings me to this past weekend. It was our first 5K of the year and we completed it together. The route was out around Grapevine Lake which is an awesome place to run. The elevation changes are challenging and fantastic for training.(I will be going out there from time to time when I start my training for some bigger events...getting to the deets on that in a moment). Any how, we completed our first 5K and headed to IHOP to take in the calories that we burned! I am kidding, sort of. We actually did pretty well and didn't overdo it.

The 2nd part of my 2010 plan, which I pretty much decided on yesterday, is to run the Whiterock Half Marathon. Part of my training will include the Grapevine Lake route in addition to participating a couple of bigger races leading up the half marathon date. Bigger races meaning 15K's and what not.

The 3rd part of my 2010 plan is to participate in a duathlon. I realize that I have already put most of this out there but it was more a preliminary plan at that time. Now, I am closer to pinning down the months in which I plan to do these events. Once I get that finalized, I will put a chart of sorts together to help keep me on track. I need to be careful in the planning and try to work it to where the events can also be considered training for the big stuff. (well, big stuff to me)

Look for a calendar of events to be posted in the next few weeks.

Things You May or May Not Want To Know About Me - Which I Ripped Off From My FB Notes Section Because I Posted Something Similar A Long Time Ago But Not Everyone Read It Back Then.

1. I am not a gamer, but I married a gamer. 
2. I thoroughly enjoy World of Warcraft (but I claim not to be a gamer) 
3. I am a hypocrite (see numbers 1 and 2) 
4. I am a HUGE Prince fan and have his symbol tattooed on my ankle. 
5. I loved the TV series Buffy and Angel. I love Smallville too and secretly have a crush on Tom Welling. I even collect the Buffy comic books and have Angel volumes 1 and 2 on order right now. 
6. I have 4 tattoos and want more. 
7. I think Rock Band and Guitar Hero are the greatest thing since sliced bread or cheese. (great family game, great party game) 
8. I love football...specifically the Cowboys. 
9. I love sushi and dirty martinis. I enjoy red wine and I like crown and coke. These are all great combos for a girls night out. 
10. I thought I wanted the 2010 Camaro until the Chevy dealers pissed me off and would not let me test drive one.
10A. I went over to Nissan dealer up the road from the Chevy dealer to test drive the next car on my list.
10B. I drove home in a 2010 370Z and have not looked back since. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this car and Chevy can suck it.
11. I love to run and hate doing it without my Garmin forerunner.
11A. I am becoming addicted to working out and feel like a blob when I miss a day that I know is not my off day.
11B. My near addiction to working out and trying to lead a healthy life is bleeding over into my cooking and eating habits. My family does not seem to be suffering from it either.
12. I am a big media wh_ r_ (fill in the blanks). Love music and movies in 7.1 surround sound while sitting in front of the 65 inch TV. Love big TV's, lots of speakers. 
13. I went to Vegas with my hubby and our very dear friends LaBrett and Gene and thoroughly enjoyed watching my husband dance for 7 hours straight. 
13A. Going back to Vegas this summer to hit up parts of the strip we did not see last time.
14. I love NCIS, House, Bones, Fringe and reruns of all of those shows, but never take the time to watch the weeks and weeks worth that is stacking up in the DVR.
15. I am addicted to mechanical pencils. 
16. I have no tolerance for females that gossip, whine, are high maintenance, try to "change" their man, turn off TV's and say we need to talk, etc. I think you get the picture. 
17. I ran a half marathon back in September of '08 and would love to do more. 
18. I love being a mom and think I do a pretty good job. 
19. I love being married and my husband is the best "man" in the world. 
20. I want to visit Spain, Italy and Australia some day 
21. I look forward to the teen years with my kiddo...bring it on. I ain't scared! 
22. I hate shopping (usually) but love my annual trip to San Marcos with a friend mine. 
23. I could spend hours in a Best Buy (yes, I am a hypocrit...see numbers 1,2 and 3...and now 22 and 23!) 
24. I am addicted to constantly checking some of my favorite blogs to see if they have been updated. 
25. My husband says I have beautiful finger nails.
26. I can curl my lip like Elvis and find it humorous when people try to do it.

2nd Week Complete

I am a little late on posting the chart...and since Hunter gave my blog a plug in his email to the group, I figured I better get the chart up. So far so good for the majority of the group. But, someone who shall remain nameless is lifting A LOT and is building mucho muscle which is causing the scale to go in the opposite direction. But, the clothes are fitting better regardless of what the scale says. And we ALL know that muscle weighs more than fat. So there you have it. 

Side note: P90X Ab Ripper is pretty awesome. I could only make it through half of the video though. It is incredibly tough but I will prevail. I will win.

Make Your Own Sushi

From an aesthetic and health viewpoint, sushi is possibly a nearly perfect food. It is always presented beautifully (as shown here) and tastes awesome. And I do love the neatly controlled package that it comes in! More important, these tasty little morsels are nutritional as well. (I only know this from the plethora of reading that I have done on the subject). They are full of potassium and iron just in the seaweed alone. There is fiber in the vegetables, and omega3 fatty acids and protein in the fish. Big bonus, sushi has a low calorie count, about 200 for five pieces.

The coolest part, you can get all of this without dropping a couple of bills at a sushi bar. Just buy some sake and/or wine and the sushi ingredients and call your friends for a sushi making night. Side note: I already have the kit that I really want to put to use.

The seaweed wrapper (nori) and fish (be sure to ask for sushi grade) can be found at high-end grocery stores. If your local high-end grocery store does not have the fish, try a fishmonger. One tip I read is that the flesh should bounce back when pressed with your finger, and it should smell of seaweed, but not strongly of fish.

For your basic tuna roll, follow these construction tips:

1. Dampen hands with water and vinegar to keep rice from sticking. Spread a handful of rice evenly downward on the dull side of the nori (seaweed).

2. Leave a half-inch margin free of rice on the top edge, and hollow out a horizontal indentation midway for the filling. Spread a thin layer of wasabi (this is optional because it is pretty dang spicy).

3. Fill in the hollow from edge to edge with thin tuna slices. Place your thumbs underneath the nori and lift the top edge.






4. Align the roll half an inch from the top edge of a bamboo sushi mat, roll the bottom of the mat to the bottom edge of the nori, and roll forward.


5. Gently continue to roll the mat forward until you reach the top edge of the nori.






6. Rotate 180 degrees, and press firmly along the roll to tighten and pack in the filling.






7. Gently peel back the mat and remove the sushi. Cut into six pieces.

I am really anxious to try this and hope that I can get the opportunity some time really soon. If any of you have ever made sushi, I would love to know how it turned out. What would you do different from what I have shared above? Any recommendations on where you went to get your sushi ingrediants would be great too.

Fricken Hilarious

Anybody that knows me knows I love football, specifically the Dallas Cowboys. If you know anything about Dallas, you know that DeMarcus Ware is a beast on D-Line. He will rattle any Quarter Back out there. And if anyone is keeping up with football this season, you should already know that Dallas is in the playoffs. The big game today is against the Vikings so how appropriate that I would get an email with this picture as an attachment. It was too good not to share.

With that being said, I will be headed to the Homuth's, family in tow, to watch Dallas whoop up on some Favre. I am so dam excited about this game. I would love to see Dallas move one game closer to the Super Bowl. Goooo Dallas!

There's no need for the return of these.

I am no fashion expert but I don't think I will be seeing myself on What Not to Wear, ever. I like to think of myself as someone with decent fashion sense. I am not into super trendy attire that will be "out" the following season. However, I do like to wear things that are pretty current but will carry me through for quite a while. So, while perusing my favorite clothing store website, I stumbled on some items that made me dang near throw up my Pei Wei dinner. Why oh why must these things try to make a come back? They may be "trendy", but a year from now, I bet you will find these things in the back of your closet.

Tie dye anything is just, um, well, gross.

I never understood the return of leggings...but to tie dye them and give them the appearance of jeans? Why?

As for these pants, I don't think any body shape can make these tapered, pleated things look good.

This one is not as bad as the pants, but why not just wear a real necklace instead of having it screen printed on your shirt?! Seems very toddler like to me. (this is no reflection on the lady modeling the shirt...that is what she is getting paid to do)
 









I would like to take my own do's and don'ts photos from people I see on the street. Might be kind of fun to black bar complete strangers. Must be my mean sided nature coming out.

Cardio X Review

There are a couple of things to get out of the way before I get to my review of the P90X Cardio X program. 

I mentioned to a friend of mine that I feared my blog was turning into a weight loss journal of sorts. She ( Shannon ) said to me, "What is there to fear? It is your blog and you can post what you want." And after going back through the past few weeks, it is pretty littered with healthy eating tips, working out tips, what my next venture is going to be whether it be running, biking or both, etc. Then my next thought was, who cares? She is right and my passion lies in living a healthy lifestyle, running, biking, doing 5K's, half marathons, bike races and just plain ol' working out. And I like to share those things. My next thought is that maybe, just maybe these various posts will help to inspire people that lack motivation to get out there and do something about it.

So, that brings me to my review of Cardio X that can be added to the slew of my other weight loss related posts. 

The Cardio X program is broken down into 4 sections Each section has exercises that most people have done or are just famliar with. There are also some exercises that may seem a little "goofy" but I can see how they would be very effective.

Section One: Yoga

The warmup is simply going through some of the classic Yoga poses. If you’ve done Yoga before, then you know that even though some of the poses don’t look very difficult, they can be pretty challenging. Yoga also does a great job of getting your heart rate up and putting you into that fat burning zone. Another thing to keep in mind when you are performing the yoga movements is to try and perfect your form. The more you perfect your form, the more you will get out of the poses.


The classic yoga poses used in the warm up are: 

• Sun Salutations (Vinyasas)
• Runner’s Pose
• Warrior One
• Warrior Two
• Reverse Warrior

My thoughts: I think yoga is the BEST way to warm up the body and I was pleased to see it in the Cardio X routine as the warm up. The 5 moves listed above will warm up every muscle, stretch every muscle and get you ready for the remaining 3 sections, one of which is pretty challenging.

Section Two: Kenpo


The Kenpo section (my personal favorite) is when your heart rate really starts to get up there, and just as with Yoga, the more you apply yourself to the movements, the more you will get out of it. The individual exercise selections from Kenpo include

• Ball Kick
• Hook/Uppercut/Side Kick
• Front & Back Knuckles/Ball Kick/Back Kick
• Jab/Cross/Hook/Uppercut
• Three-Direction Kick

My thoughts: I have always been a big fan of Kenpo type exercise. We had a kicking bag for a while and I used it pretty regularly for a good cardio workout so I was very happy to see Kenpo for section 2. For me personally, Kenpo right after yoga is the right place for it. Your body is pretty warmed up and limber which allows for the movements to be executed a little better and with more fluid movement. Great great way to get the heart rate going.

Section Three: Plyometrics


The exercises in this section consist of the following:

• Airborne Heisman
• Swing Kick
• Jump Shot
• Tire
• Wacky Jacks *these were hilarious to do and entertaining to watch but very affective for the obliques.

My thoughts: This was probably my least favorite section, beneficial but my least favorite none the less. I don't really have a reason other than I simply enjoyed the others more. The Jump Shot was a little akward until I found my rythm. The tire was pretty cool but I really had to focus on where the "tires" were, otherwise I felt like I was cheating myself with much shorter jumps than what is called for.

Fourth Section: Core Synergistics

The Core Synergistics movements that are part of Cardio X include

• Squat X-Press
• Steam Engine
• Dreya Roll
• Squat Run
• Superman/Banana

My thoughts: I thought this was a great end to the session. Each of the movements can really push you to the limits. The Dreya Roll alone has numerous variations at the end of the movement where you can jump or pose in ways that can enhance the overall effect of the exercise.

Overall, I think the Cardio X routine is fun and it is a great way to add the much needed cardio into any work out program.

Next up, the Plyometrics X. (Hunter lasted through the 1st section until his legs just would not move any more...I gotta see what this is about!)